Being Happy

by Scotland Willis

1. Make friends and family a priority.

2. Identify your windows: These are the things that as part of your life, can put you "en-joy". E.g. windows are my windows, sailing is a window, hiking is a window, gardening is a window.

3. Commit to being happy: Identify 10 things that make you happy; promise yourself each day you will do at least one of them; you will spend the rest of your life being happy.

4. My daily affirmation: Give me the determination to persevere and the perseverance to endure. For me there isn't one "most important thing" that determines our happiness. We are too complex.

Spirit of Happiness

As human beings we go through a whole range of emotional extremes and subtleties; from the need to get up and go to work (whether or not we like it) to celebrating special occasions; from meeting new friends or  successfully completing a goal, to anger about opposing views from our own.  But happiness is a higher state of being; it is an internal wealth of opportunity we can use to transform our lives.

The Dalai Lama has written a book on happiness which millions of people follow; though I have read many books on happiness; I do not believe happiness requires spiritually in the formal sense.  Michael Argyle, in a 2002 publication indicated that from 2001 to the Autumn of 2002 (when his article was published) over 100 new titles have been released on happiness.  With so much emphasis on it, why are we still publishing information about happiness?  Simple, it is the foremost balance we can achieve as human beings.

Happiness is a balance we find within ourselves.  So where do we find this happiness?  Certainly not in material and superficial objects.  No, such things offer a certain pleasure but there is a clear difference between pleasure and happiness.  Happiness is a state of mind when other factors that offer superficial happiness are absent.  Owning a Porsche, a home, getting a raise, eating great food; these things offer momentary pleasure; more importantly, go too much in one direction or the other and they can disappear.  Too much food you over eat, have a car too long, it loses its appeal. Take another example slightly different scenario.

Place yourself on a beach watching the sunset.  While being at the beach provides comfort, the act of watching the sunset (with someone or without someone you enjoy), provides an internal long lasting memory that cannot be removed.  Standing atop a mountain overlooking a grand valley or other mountains on a clear day offers something similar.  Owning a sailboat is one experience but sailing in a wide open space with gentle trade-winds can be transformative.

I begin each morning with a ritual of my own that offers the happiness I seek.  Based solely on my actions and my self understanding of what I need I; each morning I go through a series of meditation poses; I also recite my own personal mantra.  These two activities are not based on anyone else's knowledge, approval, or acknowledgement.  These activities merely add what I found balances my inner self.  They are absent of desires, result in no questions, yet provide complete and utter happiness; it is because nothing else is attached to their existence that allows these activities to be so fulfilling.  More over happiness is something you need to find on your own journey.  So what led me to these activities that provide such balance.

As I was standing on a large boulder, overlooking the Atlantic Ocean, relieved of any inhibitions, I raised one knee and began; arms spread, palms up...  It simply felt right.  A release of needs, desires, wants and an absorption of what seemed to exist on a similar plane; the rocks, the ocean, the sunlight, the air.  The absence of give or take, mere existence in the present, and the state of being.
  

A Good Life

What does it mean to have a good life?  Do you define a good life as financial success; a life that is free of major conflict or struggles; maybe a life where you get to live out your dream-like lifestyle; and perhaps a good life is determined for you by your charitable deeds.  Whatever your definition(s) may be, it is certainly more complex now than any time in history. But why?

As society continues to progress, it has a tendency to accelerate the pace of activities; the internet, global communication (including social networks), productivity requirements, intellectual competitiveness, physical and health improvements; all are contributing factors to social dynamics that might influence what a good life is composed of.

But here is another perspective, perhaps a good life begins very early.  Perhaps a good life is based on our ability to learn and do what is right.  As we age we are influenced by our parents, people closest to us; then peers, in school, our neighborhood; teenage years expose us to larger social groups, work environments and extra curricular activities.   It is how we receive and process information in these groups that informs our behavior- perhaps not solely (as we are hard wired differently), but certainly in a way that can lead to a good life.

As I look back and reflect on my own upbringing, I think about the people who I have a strong appreciation for, as I attempt to emulate their positive attributes.  My reflections also force me to think about misdeeds, cruel or unkind things I might have said or done.  At times it allowed me to fit in to certain group, as the group dynamics took their toll on the victim of our jokes or remarks.  Seemingly harmless, but the long term effects are what concern me most.  I realize this now as I continue to mature (hopefully until the day I die) - I call that learning.  And periodically when we learn more about ourselves, we get the opportunity to go back in time and make amends with such misdeeds from our past.  It is my belief that this makes us better people.  It is a different way to build character through struggle- our internal struggle.  It is not about having regret, but about the affect of not completing our life's circle; when you do something that is not in harmony with the circle, a piece gets removed until you figure out how to get it back so you can be complete.

Liberating myself from past behaviors grants me more freedom to enjoy what I consider to be a good life; I am a sailor, cyclist, runner, hiker, reader, writer and friend.  For me, these are the components that make up a good life now.  Caring about people, how my actions affect their life, and how my actions affect the planet is yet another aspect of a good life.

I have a certain peace about me, like never before- I call it happiness.  So here is my pitch, be happy-- every day of your life, strive for it.  Teach people around you about being happy and what you do to maintain happiness.  I made a list a long time ago that I still use and share.  Make a list of 10 things that make you happy, promise yourself you will do and acknowledge one each day.  Having done at least one of those things; I believe you will spend the rest of your life being happy.  This is a good life, this is my theme song- Good Life enjoy

Life without Microsoft-- Linux

Choices.  Academic, personal, social, there are so many choices.  Combine choices with fear; and you can go into a type of psychological paralysis in making simple decisions about any of the above categories.  In fact, choices are not necessarily the difficult task, but the fear of making choices is.  More unfortunate is that fear (when managed methodically) can control how we behave, react and live.  From the fear of terrorist attacks to choosing not to use certain operating systems; we sink in our courage to stand up to what is unjust or perhaps we fail to stand up because we want to be as comfortable as possible.  Tonight is different; though it can be said, for me every day is different.  Not one to follow the normal crest on the wave, I dumped Microsoft this evening with the help of a new and very good friend.

I took up the Linux system; and if you are not familiar with Linux, make it a point to learn about it.  While I will say that the process is rather time consuming (largely due to my slow internet connection), learning and observing the process of upgrading my operating system (OS) from MS to Linux was the best decision I every made from a technology perspective.  But other decisions led up to that which cannot be ignored.

I took time off from graduate school to work on writing my book.  Other things came up and leading to this summer being one of the best I have had in my entire life.  People I met, places I have and am going, decisions I've made, have all played a role in the shedding of MS to Linux.  I am a firm believer in the power of subatomic particles developing an organic attraction to other subatomic particles in a way that brings people and systems together that would otherwise not occur; it influences our decision-making in many ways to respond to the nature of those subatomic particles that behave in similar ways.  It is the very conversation that lead to a conversation with my physicist friend who also installed my new operating system.  Were it not for these deep conversation there is a strong possibility I would never have had the opportunity to install Linux on my computer.

Not that it is critical to know, but Linux is much less susceptible to viruses, less resource consuming, more efficient and as simple to navigate as the system I was previously using.  In fact, I have more space on my hard drive, more efficient use of my hard drive and more choices for how I use my computer than every before.

Granted that I have a physicist willing to take the time to walk me through the installation and set up of Linux, but I would be willing to share the experience and the process for installing Linux over the more traditional OS any time.

I no longer have a fear of whether or not the system will work; fear of losing my programs or documents because the majority of people are using another OS; I have taking the confidence of my decision-making up a notch, because quite simply, I am not one to follow the pack. 

We have all choices to make; don't be blinded by the system set up to keep you in fear or create patterns that prevent you from exploring; whether that means exploring life, cultures, science, or different technology.



One translation of Ubuntu, I am what I am because of who we are (from Wikipedia).  This is the source of the Linux OS which I installed.  Open source is an important framework from which the Internet was modeled as well as the networks it sustains, some elements have reemerged as a result of the Internet.  As new systems emerge, it is important to exercise the liberation of the social network of the Internet which more resembles society at large.  Moreover it resembles what somewhat reflects the nature of the Earth, that everyone take ownership of and is able to participate in the development and maintenance of it.

It is my belief that the human experience is suppose to be general, but develop an expertise; better yet, be a great generalist with expertise in multiple areas- you will increase you intellectual capital.  I am as grateful for my beginning education in epidemiology and environmental engineering as I am to have Linux as an alternative to the other OS; for without either, I would not have be able to be where I am today.  Knowledge is power, and my epi experience has granted me insights into life I never would have known. 

I continue to be as happy about life and my experience in it as I can possibly be.  I am free for fear regardless of what tomorrow brings; I am embracing the moment...right...now.

If you have the opportunity to installing a new OS such as Linux, do it.  I can't promise you will be as happy as I am, but then you will have to make your own choices-- won't you.

Good fortune to all!

Unprescription for happiness

by Scotland Willis
I was speaking with a good friend this morning who is visiting with me from out of town; she has been prescribed lots of drugs- eight to my knowledge.  These drugs ranged from antidepressants (prescribed as a method to help them sleep) to pain pills.

Thoroughly concerned about the use of prescription medicine as a solution with no end; I shifted into my life coach mode and asked her to do me a favor.  I simply requested that she take a moment to go up stairs and write a list of ten things that make her happy.

While she was doing this I decided to do some research about the various drugs- most of  it was not positive.  The risks associated with taking the prescribed drugs ranged from suicide to further depression- be more depressed... so I can sleep?  That didn't wash with me, so I furthered my research, all the time knowing and informing her that I am no doctor and am not offering medical advice.  I went a step further.

What we should all know
With only novice experience in heal risk affects, I started to research the NIH (National Institute of Health) and the IRIS (Integrated Risk Information System) to increase my understanding of what I was looking at- more bad news.  Both offer valuable insights to toxicity and responses to various toxicants.

As it turns out, and is sometimes the case, I discovered that what had been prescribed was the very same thing I was requesting of my friend; find happiness- but the drugs were limited in understanding human nature.

The drugs force the release of additional serotonin ( a contributor to a sense of well being sometimes called the happiness hormone (though it is not actually a hormone).  Excesses of serotonin like any toxic affect, can have a negative outcome.   To no surprise she complained about discomfort in her gut (where 80% of serotonin is produced).  An excess dose of serotonin could potentially result in this response.

Putting it all together

After about an hour, she came to me with her list.  Next, I went through the list of ten things she wrote down for me, that make her happy or that she likes to do.  I read them with great care.  Then I went through each one and asked her, "when was the last time you went to the museum?" followed by; "when was the last time you went to a movie"... followed by; "when was the last time you..." until we went through the entire list.

As it turned out she had not participated in any of the things she enjoyed in less than the last six months!

I absolutely could not believe this; I could not believe what I was hearing.  Now I have plenty of stress in my life; but I do not allow a day to go by without doing at least one thing, that makes me happy.  If ever I have, I know that I would not feel good about myself, vis a vis, I would not be happy i.e.,  I would not have the natural dose of serotonin already in my body, that I needed.

So I proceeded to give my nonprescription, "My friend, I said, "I want you to go out and do at least two of the things that make you happy today.  Take your journal and write about how they make you feel and pay attention to what is occurring for you as you make your observations."

A real difference

Immediately, as I was looking at her beautiful self, it was as if a huge burden had been lifted from her.  A smile came across her face that was glowing in a way I had not seen since she arrived.  To me that indicated that the dopamine ( a biological reaction that occurs when you are craving something) was being released at the mere idea of taking time to do some of the things that make her happy.  My belief is that she will get the sense of well being from the interaction between what she stated makes her happy and making a conscious decision to partake in such activity.

And that is it friends, don't allow life to pass you by because you forgot to do something that makes you feel good (the serotonin) every day.

You might  start by going off somewhere right now and making that list of the ten things that make you happy.  If the natural dopamine in your is being released, you are probably experiencing a smile or your salivary glands acting up at the idea that you are going to reward yourself by treating your happiness hormones to doing something nice for someone else, or nice to yourself.

I feel happier already

Don't worry be happy, because there are some things that you just cannot change- accept that and find a alternate happy path.  For the other things, that you can change, as long as they don't make someone else unhappy, go and do them.  Join a new group, pick up an instrument, go for a walk, a bike ride, show someone you care, get an ice cream cone, breathe fresh air, write in your journal, garden, etc. Do a physical or mental activity that nourishes you and can make you begin to feel whole again.

In my non-medical opinion, the first prescription doctors should offer is the prescription of inquiry, and ask what makes you happy.

We forget things all the time as humans, just don't forget to be happy

Resources:

http://www.epa.gov/iris/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emotion#Neurobiological_theories

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Serotonin

Stress and emotion: A new synthesis, 1999, New York: Springer Pub. Co.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0004531/

Emotion and adaptation, 1991, New York: Oxford University Press

Charles & I

I have a Love affair with Charles, he is robust, daring, at times,calming and seductive.  He serves as my best friend who helps me reflect when the complexities of life leave me twisted; like a person who discovers they made a bad career choice as a contortionist, when they climb into a box and discover they are claustrophobic.

No I'm no more gay than I am homophobic, I just happen to be passionate about the Charles River.  It is my favorite refuge in Boston, with which I have a life long relationship.   Locally known as The Charles, it would be easy for anyone, at first glance, to misinterpret my relationship with The Charles; but my intimate experience stems from a long history.  I would venture to guess that I am not alone in this affinity that exists between us.  I like to believe that there are thousands of others who share a similar passion, they just have not come out of the closet as of yet.

Though I don't know how many can claim as meaningful a relationship as myself with Charles, I encourage visitors and residents alike to explore.

When I was but four years old, my family use to make weekly trips to The Charles.  I  am certain that this was a declaration of my relationship early in life with Him.

From Highland Park in Roxbury, my mom strapped me into the plaid cushioned seat,  metal arm rests unfolded, and back rest settled upon the rear frame of the bike-- off we went.  The preparation alone was enough to raise the anticipation of a child.  Whisking down the steep hills from Highland Park, cruising down Mass Ave. and onto the Charles! In those days the traffic on the streets was a mere inconvenience, nothing like today.  Yep those memories go back nearly 35 years. It would be an interesting experiment to measure the brain activity then and compare it to my response today to see how they measure up against each other, in terms of my pleasure.  Special events like the 4th-of-July, were among the most memorable, but any excuse to head to The Charles was sufficient.

Fast forward 35 years and like a stroke of good fortune, I began sailing on The Charles in 1997, after receiving a membership to Community Boating Inc.,  for lessons from my mother- always taking care of me in one way or another.  This experience allowed me to renew my commitment; The Charles provided me with a new set of lenses with which to appreciate his greatness.  And as only a best friend could do, He chided me all along the way, right through to my helmsman- and beyond.  No anxiety, never any threat of personal welfare and complete and utter happiness.  No more than six years later I convinced myself to purchase a sailboat.  Reticent in my decision, I questioned my abandonment of my long time friend, my confidant, my soul mate.

I came to the resolve that our relationship was far to substantive for such a decision to plague our history, which had allowed me to overcome many barriers internally and externally.  Despite my moving away, or gaining weight, or purchasing a boat, somehow we always managed to realign ourselves to each other.  But I know The Charles bare the brunt of burden as I did little more than advocate for his cleanliness and utility to others in the city- perhaps that is all he requires.

Driven by the need to be near his body of water; as a runner, I would race toward him during my best running years; following a path similar to the cycling route I recall my family taking when I was but a child.  There is a lot more traffic now, so I have found new strategies to avoid over stimulation of these evolving changes.  Sometimes I would go early in the morning, other times late at night; if I could not resist, and it was the middle of the day, the Southwest Corridor was the best route.  Dartmouth was always my favorite transition though.  Northwest on Dartmouth and my adrenaline would shift into overdrive.  On a good day, I could almost smell the Charles.   Over the years that has not changed


The challenge was never whether or not to go but rather which route can I take that will extend the time I can afford to spend here.  Yeah, across Dartmouth, up the Storrow Dr. side, over the John Weeks Bridge, down Memorial Drive to the Longfellow and back around towards the overpass.  A pause on a reward day to absorb the offerings of The Charles- at the Aurthur Fiedler monument; OK back to Dartmouth, and I was off again- see you tomorrow.


The Charles was and always will be my pinnacle destination, regardless of where I reside or what lifestyle changes occur for me.  Over the past few years, I have taken over 700 photographs of The Charles; he is always posing, always ready, providing yet another function for my form-- inspired.

Through every season I recognize his long list of defining characteristics, consulate, artist of the city, ice sculptor, mariner, advisor, model, laureate, care taker, dog walker, well wisher; a ubiquitous and ominous list to be sure.

Often I find myself wishing I could just bottle up all the great moments and times we spend together because it is so fulfilling.  Not every day can be perfect, but every day I spend on The Charles is at least that.