Female Insecurities

Female insecurities manifest in many ways.  They can result from years of ridicule in school, abusive parents, peer pressure, or the common pressures of societies expectations (you're too fat, ...you're not beautiful enough, ...buy this to look sexy, "...if your not beautiful, you're something else- and that's not important, so be somebody").  Yesterday I had a conversation with someone I truly Love(not romantically).  I was deeply troubled by a statement she made because it was not something that would come up in the basic context of our conversation [embarking upon a new relationship], but rooted in her life experience, impacting her self perception.

It ended up something like this "...I always felt that Latino men weren't attracted to me", no exactly like that.  Ok. Stop!

First of all, I am seriously passionate about Latina culture for many reasons- sex appeal being one major attraction; they maintain a culture that is enduring with passion in their dance, music, dress, and even attitude.

That being said I could never allow my self image to be defined by this culture, nor can it influence whether or not I feel whole as a person.  This is where my warning to(let's just call her Alise) for Alise was anchored.  My suggestion was simple 1) look at how a certain culture manipulates your father and his need to feel accepted 2) "you are both beautiful and sexy".  The issues is more so that most men don't have the courage to communicate what they think about you (as far as attraction goes).  So don't get bent out of shape if a particular type of person is appears to not be attracted to you.

Think of how much of one's life is molded around branding sexuality and beauty.  Then think about equating the amount of time you spend striving to achieve that status.  My question is simple; does the amount of time you invest in clothes, physical appearance( I am specifically omitting health, because maintaining your health is very important- so it can be a fine line), aesthetic appearance, lifestyle facades, really repay itself in the end?  For some perhaps it does, but what is that threshold of return on investment? When do we compromise our self confidence for superficiality and desire for acceptance?

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The best return on your investment is to find what makes you feel whole be systematically eliminating the superficial factors that might define who you are.  Who do you end up with?  Can you find peace and confidence in who you see as you look at yourself, without depending on the elements around you to color up who you might not be?  This is not to say that the world we interact with will not influence us, it should to some degree; just be clear on who you are when you embrace something new.  Allow that person, event, thing, culture, activity etc. to enhance your life (by adding character) but not define your life.

Being you is awesome, especially when you take a step back, look at what you appreciate about what you have done in your life, smile at what is good and wholesome about you- then, just enjoy being you.     

Females are not the only ones with insecurities; it just happens that I care about this one more than words can say.