Not too long ago I met someone new, in an attempt to explore building a relationship with someone. She is an amazing individual with a list of accomplishments and a sense of independence and determination that would rival any over achiever. I am honored to share a part of my life with her.
As most new relationships go, we had a conversation about attributes we appreciated about one and other as well as expectations. Within this context, she expressed concern about her personal lifestyle and not wanting to be pressured to change. This came on the heels of a statement about my commitment to sustainability as my lifestyle relates to it. My lifestyle by far exceeds her level of commitment to sustainability, which forced her to share that such a chasm could very well be too much of a hurdle to overcome.
It is very early in the relationship so there is no real level of commitment at this point, this can also be known as the discovery period. You learn about the other persons habits, lifestyle etc. and determine if going forward makes sense. The other good thing about these tougher conversations is that you are not too engulfed in the relationship that you can't see daylight on the other side because all that seems to matter is how caught up you are in the moment of emotions, like you wound up and twisted in a potpourri of your favorite chocolates. It is great that our more sensible/ mature side has prevailed.
My response to her concern was simple; as a grown woman, I don't expect her to change her lifestyle rather I believe my lifestyle habits might encourage her to change her own after seeing the ease of sustainable adaptations.
I do what is good for me and the environment; my hope is that my behaviors and lifestyle choices will influence people in a way that encourages them to make significant changes- of their own volition. Such changes will likely have a more profound impact not only on the environment, but will also systematically foster changes in people who are not as committed, to shifting lifestyle impact on climate change. So while I don't expect her to change her lifestyle, I do expect that my choices will encourage her to make lifestyle changes.
My lifestyle choices have evolved over time. Because of my circumstances or personal choices; making the adaptations have been profoundly easier for me than such changes might be for virtually all other people. This does not make me a super hero (except perhaps in my own mind), but stands to explain how I have positioned myself for success relative to environmental sustainability issues and that I can continue to do so- a priority in my life. Just as one must position themselves for financial success by strategically positioning specific actions and objectives, so have I done with sustainability. Each day I grow better at what I am capable of doing because of my intentions.
Where does this leave our relationship, I cannot say with certainty, but choosing to broach the conversation positions each of us to make well informed decisions going forward and it will not be a hurdle that was stands in the way of our pursuit of happiness.
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