Overwhelmed? Be Happy

Last year there were 12 extreme weather events*; in 2010, there were 14,748 murders in the U.S. (a 4.2 percent decrease over 2009)*; there were 35.9 thousand motor vehicle deaths; heart disease was the leading cause of death in 2010 with 595,444 in the U.S.*  While some of these numbers are down over previous years, the numbers, titles, and subsequent data can easily become overwhelming, as it dominates the headlines in an attempt to capture out attention.

It is becoming more and more difficult to maintain happiness; perhaps a better way to put it is maintaining happiness is and will likely require a greater effort.  More work, that's what we all need- perhaps not, but let's see if we can navigate through some of this and aid ourselves in the process.

Not too many people would argue that happiness is an important component to our overall well being.  I have made recommendation in the past that everyone who follows my blog make a list of 10 things that make you happy; promise yourself every day to do at least one of them; my belief is that you will spend the rest of your life being happy.  So what does that mean?

Balance is probably the single most important word regarding one's well being.  Eat too much and you risk obesity, drink too much and risk liver failure, work to much and risk over stressing yourself or even your family.  Balance ensures that we are conscious about the effect of various lifestyle activities as they affect our wellbeing.  Personal trainers and public health commissions recommend a balance of a healthy diet and exercise.  Psychology experts recommend a good work life balance to maintain personal well being.  While we can't fully pull the reins on all of the factors that throw our lives into a tailspin at times (perhaps we could but that would be counter intuitive to creating the balance in most cases), we can stop from time to time and look at our lifestyle habits or contributing factors that the imbalance that is more destructive in our lives than productive.

With automobile sales on the rise again, that also means more pollutants in the air.  Take some time to visit a national park and hike or walk.  While the immediate impact and reduction to the intake of air pollution may not have a significant difference on your lungs, the psychological benefit is priceless- especially if you are able to do it with family, friends or a social network group that actually meets personally(meetup.com)  who you can enjoy spending time with.  Increasing your heart rate helps to flush out some of those toxins in your body as you increase the rate of exchange of spent air for fresh air.  Now you've done some good for your heart, lungs, muscles and mind.

Happy stone throwing boy (tap image to enlarge)

Understanding how our personal behaviors impact our bodies is critically important.  It is one of the reasons why individuals should have an annual physical, to monitor our body's activity and any abnormalities that may arise.  Such abnormalities are not likely escape the radar if we effectively monitor such patters over time and are able to capture shifts in our biological system.

Cycling is one of my personal favorites, but it is also important to mix in a variety of activities to break up your routine.  Going to a performing arts event; taking sailing lessons, and reading something enjoyable, all offer benefits including the opportunity to socialize in a world that (ahh-hmm) has us in front of a computer screen or on the cell phone way too often.

A recent article in Scientific America examines how scientist are working to create a drug that eliminates the painful memories such as PTSD.  Imagine if you would, the ability to, through your own psychology, technically change your own biological structure to induce happiness from a chemical standpoint.  In some ways that is possible, but what if you could do it on command.  That is what their research conjures up for me.  Time published an article on the effects of happiness in 2008 as it relates to interaction with others.

There are arguments for and against technology for many reasons; without it, we might not be able to fully take advantage of our human potential, yet with it, we (social creatures that we are) often find more reasons to stay at home.  Amazon means we don't have to go out, smart phones mean we don't have to ask other people, laptops mean we can stay glued to television programming; each of these takes a little bit more out of the very value we see in being human beings.

Being human lends itself to a variety of unique opportunities, one of which is the ability to be cognizant of when imbalances are overtaking our life.  The work is recognizing when that is occurring so we can respond and make adjustments when necessary-- which is often not just when we think we are OK.   Happiness is not the struggle, maintaining happiness or even identifying it can be.  Make your happy list  today and be active in maintaining it.  You may see that you are already doing some or all of the 10 things.  Once you get it, you will see how transformational it can be for you.  It is likely that you will begin building your life around being happy and that everything else will follow.



*Extreme weather events NCDC/ NOAA 
*FBI Uniformed Crime Reports
* Leading causes of death (CDC)

Female Insecurities

Female insecurities manifest in many ways.  They can result from years of ridicule in school, abusive parents, peer pressure, or the common pressures of societies expectations (you're too fat, ...you're not beautiful enough, ...buy this to look sexy, "...if your not beautiful, you're something else- and that's not important, so be somebody").  Yesterday I had a conversation with someone I truly Love(not romantically).  I was deeply troubled by a statement she made because it was not something that would come up in the basic context of our conversation [embarking upon a new relationship], but rooted in her life experience, impacting her self perception.

It ended up something like this "...I always felt that Latino men weren't attracted to me", no exactly like that.  Ok. Stop!

First of all, I am seriously passionate about Latina culture for many reasons- sex appeal being one major attraction; they maintain a culture that is enduring with passion in their dance, music, dress, and even attitude.

That being said I could never allow my self image to be defined by this culture, nor can it influence whether or not I feel whole as a person.  This is where my warning to(let's just call her Alise) for Alise was anchored.  My suggestion was simple 1) look at how a certain culture manipulates your father and his need to feel accepted 2) "you are both beautiful and sexy".  The issues is more so that most men don't have the courage to communicate what they think about you (as far as attraction goes).  So don't get bent out of shape if a particular type of person is appears to not be attracted to you.

Think of how much of one's life is molded around branding sexuality and beauty.  Then think about equating the amount of time you spend striving to achieve that status.  My question is simple; does the amount of time you invest in clothes, physical appearance( I am specifically omitting health, because maintaining your health is very important- so it can be a fine line), aesthetic appearance, lifestyle facades, really repay itself in the end?  For some perhaps it does, but what is that threshold of return on investment? When do we compromise our self confidence for superficiality and desire for acceptance?

Siem Reap SE Asia

The best return on your investment is to find what makes you feel whole be systematically eliminating the superficial factors that might define who you are.  Who do you end up with?  Can you find peace and confidence in who you see as you look at yourself, without depending on the elements around you to color up who you might not be?  This is not to say that the world we interact with will not influence us, it should to some degree; just be clear on who you are when you embrace something new.  Allow that person, event, thing, culture, activity etc. to enhance your life (by adding character) but not define your life.

Being you is awesome, especially when you take a step back, look at what you appreciate about what you have done in your life, smile at what is good and wholesome about you- then, just enjoy being you.     

Females are not the only ones with insecurities; it just happens that I care about this one more than words can say.